My rant for the day: So I have to say that I am a little irritated by lack of nuanced language around the subject of Cis gendered couples privilege. Why does it bother me? Because I as a black kinky, poly Cis gendered male experience privilege in a dif…
A good kiss is like a cocktail, somewhat sweet, generous in proportion and warms your whole body.
My rant for the day: this is going to be a throw back Thursday rant with a twist. ( I bare this rant satirically) I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for about 20 years and 17 of those years have been spent as a Pro Dominant. And let me say that I have h…
Fire is, creation, destruction & transformation. I use fire to burn away negativity, cleans the flesh, promote healing and transformation.
In my younger years I had a sub that loved Fireplay but wouldn’t put the flames in her mouth. I told her many times that fire wouldn’t burn her and I even demonstrated it a few times but no matter what I did she wouldn’t budge. So I thought about it fo…
Mini rant: Let me preface this meme by saying, It’s about shifting the mastery mindset away from the traditional action to action trope that keeps us reactionary & moves us into an aspect to aspect contextually that is both proactive and sustainabl…
Zen and Mastery are similar in that they both believe in the adage, “ the more one talks, the less they know. “ If your not able to demonstrate your Mastery; then your not.
A young sub asked the Old Master, “ How do I find my submission? “ To which the Old Master replied, “ You stop looking for it. “
There is a common misconception that submission is something you find. As if it is something that exists outside of yourself. But the truth is that submission is a light that comes from within. Everyone has it but, some people’s submission tends to burn brighter than others. But why is that?
Well, truth of the matter is that true submission is developed and cultivated through hard work and introspection. The process is more of an uncovering or a rediscovering than a finding. And yes, for some people this process will be as easy as snatching the blankets off of a bed and for others it maybe a deep and difficult excavation of the self.
First lets examine, “ What is Submission ? “
Submission is a derivative of Surrender in that both are states of being and both are predicated on the cessation of resistance. But, what makes them different is that surrender is usually situational and ( or ) incremental. ( also referred to as submitting ) Where as surrender is a perpetual state of non resistence which is akin to the buddhist term enlightenment. And that once developed, a person in their submission no longer has the desire to resist, to fight, to struggle… they no longer look clamor for external methods of control.
A person in their submission understands that if real control is the ability to regulate and limit others, then self control is one’s ability to self regulate and place limits on one’s self. And that self regulation is the only control that one needs because all other forms of control that exists outside of the self are merely an illusion.
This means that a sub, that is in their submission, submits because it brings them pleasure to please others and because it’s in their nature to do so. But it’s not because a dominant has some kind of invisible hold over them. That is the illusion of submission which tends to distract those that wish to submit from realizing their true self.
Far to often a dominant becomes the crutch in which a submissive rests their psychosexual and intimate worlds on. They often say, “ I wouldn’t do this or that, if you didn’t make me do it “ when the truth is that they had secretly fantasized about doing those same things for as long as they could remember. Being in ones submission means not resisting your wants, needs and desires. It means not stifling who you are or suppressing who you want to be. Submission is a shedding of all the shame and anxiety that arises when one tries to ask for what they need to feel satiated.
Submission, when cultivated properly is power of non resistance.
How does one develop this power?
To be continued
Why do we use broken in a way that denotes a things final state of being. We say, ” I’m broken ” or ” we’ve broken up…” but the truth is what we call broken a Buddhist calls impermanence. Which is the idea that everything will change; nothing will st…
Think of bondage as a dance. The Master knows the steps so he leads and you follow. The Master guides you through each movement. Holding you at every turn. Supporting you at each moment. The hart of a master is the metronome by which he dictates the pa…