Finding & Accepting Your Path to Submission

What is submission? Submission is giving oneself over to the path. It is complete and total acceptance of one’s own personal journey. But that road to total acceptance is often overlooked, because it comes so naturally to some, while others avoid it al…

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Facebook’s Obscene Picture Policies

Dirk Caber Entertainer

Recently, I was made aware of a post made by Dirk Caber that talks about the unfair treatment of LGBTQ people by Facebook. (here is a link to the article http://dirkcaber.com/2015/01/05/enough-is-enough/ ) He, like many others, has talked about having pictures expressing their love and affection for their same sex partner, removed from Facebook. I can’t tell you how horrible it feels to have someone consider your personal pictures deemed lude or in violation of the community agreement.      

What it all boils down to is this bullshit idea that each individual feels that he or she is the moral majority leader for the whole world. Instead of not looking at the content or just unfriending / blocking the page, some people feel that it’s their duty to have all content that they don’t like removed, so that nobody else can see it. To me that’s like modern day book burning.   




But it doesn’t stop at social media… people have had shows banned from tv and songs pulled from the radio because they disagreed with them… But hate, in any form, gets a free pass in the name of freedom of speech and expression.   

Here is my suggestion to Facebook. If a person feels that any of my pictures are offensive to them – as soon as they launch their complaint, the person should be automatically blocked from seeing anything else on my page. Come on! There has to be some personal accountability somewhere!  

In closing….  To me, love in all of its many incarnations should be more than just tolerated… It should be perpetuated. O

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Ask Orpheus Black 2015-01-08 14:19:00

The Erotic Art of Spanking is an introductory class that helps both couples and individuals embrace this fun and kinky form of foreplay. In this class we will cover things like, “How to broach the subject of spanking with a partner”, “Creating a safe, comfortable and consensual environment where the spanking can happen”, “How to safely escalate the spanking in speed and intensity” and more.

As always these class will be fun, light hearted and filled live demonstration, and lots of room for audience participation. 

We will also be covering:

How to broach the subject of spanking with a partner, 
Communicating your desires.
Creating a safe, comfortable and consensual environment where the spanking can happen
Whats a safe word and how to use it.
Safety and proper technique
Types of spanking.
The best positions to give and receive a spanking
How to use spanking as foreplay.
Using spanking in role play.
How to safely escalate the spanking in speed and intensity

The event will start @ 2pm and will be held held @ 6628 Lankershim BLVD in North Hollywood California. Admission is $20 for couples and $15 for individuals. Must be 18 and over to attend. This event is open to all genders, sexualities and nationalities. To RSVP please go to the link below and click Going.    https://www.facebook.com/events/782364018522416/?pnref=story If you are not on face book you can also RSVP on fet life using this link 


About the Teacher


Orpheus Black – Southern California’s Leather Master/slave titleholder – is also a published author and erotic educator, specializing in hierarchical dynamics, non-monogamous relationships, and extreme sexual encounters. This two-time Bawdy Story telling champion has been traveling the country teaching his fun and light-hearted educational events for more than a decade.

During this time, Orpheus has become one of California’s most respected educators as well as a favorite interviewee and contributor, lending his expertise to shows such as “Chocolate Radio”, “Night Calls”, “Love, Sex, and Hip Hop”, “The Sex Nerd Sandra Show”,”The Dr. Susan Block Show”, and “The Inner Circle with Neil Strauss”. Currently, he hosts his own sexy monthly podcast called “the Tyrant Thinks”.

Orpheus is also a regular presenter at DomConLA and is the founder of Cirque de Sade—a high profile Dominants group whose mission is to advance the art of BDSM through a commitment to innovation, excellence, and active leadership in the D/s, Ms and fetish communities.

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Are there hard and fast rules to being polyamorous?

Sandra B Asks Orpheus:

 Orpheus, are there hard and fast rules to being polyamorous?

As the ‘third’ in our triad, my boyfriend and his wife have ‘rules’; however, I came in with no expectations. Should I make rules, follow rules, or let the triad develop on its on? (BDSM is not a part of our lives)
ORPHEUS ANSWERS:
There are no hard and fast rules that govern any relationship alternatives, BDSM, poly, or otherwise.
Each relationship is like a snowflake. No matter how similar one is to another, each is unique, requiring its own rules, methodologies, and environment, specific to that relationship.
A general rule of thumb is, don’t bring in rules, guidelines or expectations, to an already established relationship. When a third enters a new relationship with a preexisting couple it is important to acknowledge the established rules, structures, andhierarchies, in place. Not because it is the polite thing to do, but because these rules have worked for the preexisting relationship thus far and altering it may do more damage than good.
In my opinion, the job of the third is to become so comfortable and familiar with the workings of the relationship dynamic that initiating slight changes, accommodations, or alterations, to the relationship should be no problem. When something is not working out for you, or others, you will understand the best way to get things resolved.
It is important that every third realize that if what they want, or need, is not in line with the goals of the previously established relationship they can tear it apart.
In my opinion, the best ways to initiate change are organic. Each person should write a “Best Case Scenario” list that outlines where they want the relationship to go. The overlaps in each list could become common goals for everyone. Everything that can be agreed upon should be acknowledged. Everything else should be thoroughly discussed. In this way, you not only set goals for the group, but, establish a rudimentary process for communication between everyone. While this is a good beginning approach, it may not work if you are already in a dynamic that works for you.
What I would recommend, if you are already in a dynamic, is to look at every issue you, or your partners, may have from a bipartisan stand point. A few of my rules of thumb are;
“No rules, or changes, can be made to the relationship if it negatively affects or harms anyone in the poly dynamic.”
“No rules, or changes, can be made if they don’t reflect the overall feelings or goals of the group.”
“No rules, or changes, can be made if they are in the best interest of a lone individual and not the collective”
So how do you work within a polygynous or Polyamorous structure to bring about the changes you want that may be most beneficial? Robert Heinlein once said, “You have to fully Grok the situation.” Grok means to understand, so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in the group experience.”
When you have an issue, or want to make a change, make sure you fully understand the issue before you attempt to address it. Then go to your partners, not only with the issue, but, with a mutually beneficial way to resolve it. That’s really important. What’s also important is that you do it respectfully; and that you are not so attached to your solution that it can’t be taken and altered in a way that you may not have foreseen.
In closing, polyamorous relationships are like bonsai trees, they will grow on their own but it is up to us to guide and shape them in a way that is healthy, beautiful, and sustainable.
by Orpheus Black

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Enso: Broken Cup

A young Dom and an Old Master sat down to drink coffee one day. As the young Dom began to pour coffee into the Old Master’s cup, the young Dom said, “Not too long ago, my little one left me and my house to begin a new relationship with someone else. Since then,” he continued, “she has had a desire to return to me. What should I do?” The young Dom paused for a second then asked the old master. “Should I allow her to come back to me?”

The Old Master slowly sat back in his chair and thought long and hard about the young Dom’s dilemma. Finally, after a few minutes, the Old Master said to the young Dom, “See this coffee cup… I’ve had it for almost a decade and I know it’s silly, but it’s one of my favorite coffee cups.

Not too long ago, someone took my favorite coffee cup from my house and needless to say, I was a little angry. For a while I tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t take it back… But that was just my pride talking. Once I calmed down, I realized that, although the cup was no longer in my home that didn’t mean that I didn’t still own it or want it. It just meant that it wasn’t currently in my possession.” The old Master said, pausing to take a sip. “When the cup finally came back to me, it wasn’t the same… it was chipped in a few places and the handle had broken off. And it was at that moment that I had to make a decision to either take it back or let it go. While neither decision would have been wrong… I had to remove my pride from the situation and ask myself two difficult questions…”

1.) Do I want to take the time to mend it?
2.) Do I believe that it will be able to serve me as it did before?
The Old Master smiled a little as he sat the cup down on to the table gesturing to it proudly. “As you can see…  I kept the old thing and after all this time it has served me well. And, while I don’t like it in the same way that I did before… I do like it and that’s all that matters… So my advice to is: Remove your pride. Ask yourself the tough questions and let your heart make the final decision. 
O

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The History of Fire Cupping: Then and Now

The Origins of Fire Cupping

Cupping is one of the oldest healing arts known to man. While we may never know who exactly created cupping we do know that it has been used for thousands of years by the ancient Egyptians as far back as 1550 B.C. and by the Greeks around 413 B.C. 


In China, it is said that cupping or “Gua-Sha” (phonetic) can be traced to the Han dynasty which came into existence in 206 B.C. Since the Han Dynasty, the art of cupping and its methods have blazed its way through Japan, the Middle East, Malaysia, Europe and the Americas. In the Muslim (or Islamic) culture cupping has not only been ingrained in their medical practices but in their religious teachings as well. In the Quran cupping is called Al- HuJamah and was brought to the Arab masses by the Muslim prophet Muhammad. It is said that the angels spoke to Muhammad and said, “Upon you is cupping (hijama), O Muhammad.

Ancient practitioners of this cupping art used items that were readily available in the treatment of their patients. In Ge Hong’s ( 284-346 CE) book, “A Handbook of Prescriptions for Emergencies,” it outlined Gua-Sha and its practical applications. The practice is also known as jiaofa or “The Horn Technique.” According to Ge Hong cattle horns were used as the “cups” of choice and this explains how the practice got its nick name Horning. 


One of the problems with using horn, wood, and bamboo cups is the fact that they are not as durable or as light as metal ceramics and glass.  Not only were these new products able to withstand higher temperatures from what would come to be known as Huoquan Qi, or Fire Cupping without warping or becoming brittle, they were also much easier to sterilize and keep clean. This was especially important and became essential when dealing with bodily fluids (such as blood or pus) which can easily contain germs, viruses, and bacteria. All of which are easily transmit from person to person. For these reasons ceramics and glass are the most practical and readily available material used for cupping today. 

Though there are many ways for Gua-Sha to be performed, the most traditional way is called Huoquan Qi which loosely translates to “Fire Jar Qi” or “fire cupping.” Huoquan Qi is a treatment where fire is used to evacuate air in a cup while the cup is being applied to the skin. The vacuum or suction caused by the evacuated air draws the skin into the cup as well as the underlining blood and tissue .


Fire Cupping and Intimacy

While there are more modern methods of cupping that don’t require fire, couples may find that the fire adds an element of fear, excitement and an air of danger to their erotic encounter. The combination of heat and increased blood flow to erogenous zone, like the nipples, increases sensitivity while further heightening the senses. The warmth of the fire and the sucking of the cup is a primal and sexual sensation that can range from very intense to a slight pull sensation. 

BDSM and “The Art of Fire Cupping” 

I believe that cupping is one of the more obscure forms of SM play due to the fact that there is very little pain associated with it. Most would be practitioners may also assume that there is some form of specialized medical training associated with cupping because of it medicinal roots. 

Another reason for its obscurity in the erotic arena is that it is mislabeled as fire play and therefore misunderstood. My definition of fire play is: “Anytime fire or flame is placed on any portion of the body for any sexual reason or fetish purpose.” However, the art of Huoquan Qi is that when it is performed correctly the fire will never touch the subject. This does not mean that the subject will not feel the heat from the flames, rather when performed correctly, fire will never make actual contact with the subject. Fire cupping is mislabeled due to the fact that most of the precautionary measures associated with this style of cupping pertain to the flame or the fire itself.  It has been my experience, that Huoquan Qi or fire cupping would be better qualified as a form of sensation play because of the variety of sensation that can be achieved with the application of a little imagination.


Up Coming Event

Author and educator Orpheus Black has been practicing and teaching the ancient art of horning, the traditional cupping method and erotic fire cupping to couples (and individuals) for more than a decade. These fun and informative classes not only outline the history and techniques involved in cupping he also guides his students through hands on applications that stimulate the mind, body and spirit.  

Continue Reading →

Posted in: Uncategorized

The History of Fire Cupping: Then and Now

The Origins of Fire Cupping

Cupping is one of the oldest healing arts known to man. While we may never know who exactly created cupping we do know that it has been used for thousands of years by the ancient Egyptians as far back as 1550 B.C. and by the Greeks around 413 B.C. 


In China, it is said that cupping or “Gua-Sha” (phonetic) can be traced to the Han dynasty which came into existence in 206 B.C. Since the Han Dynasty, the art of cupping and its methods have blazed its way through Japan, the Middle East, Malaysia, Europe and the Americas. In the Muslim (or Islamic) culture cupping has not only been ingrained in their medical practices but in their religious teachings as well. In the Quran cupping is called Al- HuJamah and was brought to the Arab masses by the Muslim prophet Muhammad. It is said that the angels spoke to Muhammad and said, “Upon you is cupping (hijama), O Muhammad.

Ancient practitioners of this cupping art used items that were readily available in the treatment of their patients. In Ge Hong’s ( 284-346 CE) book, “A Handbook of Prescriptions for Emergencies,” it outlined Gua-Sha and its practical applications. The practice is also known as jiaofa or “The Horn Technique.” According to Ge Hong cattle horns were used as the “cups” of choice and this explains how the practice got its nick name Horning. 


One of the problems with using horn, wood, and bamboo cups is the fact that they are not as durable or as light as metal ceramics and glass.  Not only were these new products able to withstand higher temperatures from what would come to be known as Huoquan Qi, or Fire Cupping without warping or becoming brittle, they were also much easier to sterilize and keep clean. This was especially important and became essential when dealing with bodily fluids (such as blood or pus) which can easily contain germs, viruses, and bacteria. All of which are easily transmit from person to person. For these reasons ceramics and glass are the most practical and readily available material used for cupping today. 
Though there are many ways for Gua-Sha to be performed, the most traditional way is called Huoquan Qi which loosely translates to “Fire Jar Qi” or “fire cupping.” Huoquan Qi is a treatment where fire is used to evacuate air in a cup while the cup is being applied to the skin. The vacuum or suction caused by the evacuated air draws the skin into the cup as well as the underlining blood and tissue .

Fire Cupping and Intimacy
While there are more modern methods of cupping that don’t require fire, couples may find that the fire adds an element of fear, excitement and an air of danger to their erotic encounter. The combination of heat and increased blood flow to erogenous zone, like the nipples, increases sensitivity while further heightening the senses. The warmth of the fire and the sucking of the cup is a primal and sexual sensation that can range from very intense to a slight pull sensation. 
BDSM and “The Art of Fire Cupping” 
I believe that cupping is one of the more obscure forms of SM play due to the fact that there is very little pain associated with it. Most would be practitioners may also assume that there is some form of specialized medical training associated with cupping because of it medicinal roots. 

Another reason for its obscurity in the erotic arena is that it is mislabeled as fire play and therefore misunderstood. My definition of fire play is: “Anytime fire or flame is placed on any portion of the body for any sexual reason or fetish purpose.” However, the art of Huoquan Qi is that when it is performed correctly the fire will never touch the subject. This does not mean that the subject will not feel the heat from the flames, rather when performed correctly, fire will never make actual contact with the subject. Fire cupping is mislabeled due to the fact that most of the precautionary measures associated with this style of cupping pertain to the flame or the fire itself.  It has been my experience, that Huoquan Qi or fire cupping would be better qualified as a form of sensation play because of the variety of sensation that can be achieved with the application of a little imagination.


Up Coming Event

Author and educator Orpheus Black has been practicing and teaching the ancient art of horning, the traditional cupping method and erotic fire cupping to couples (and individuals) for more than a decade. These fun and informative classes not only outline the history and techniques involved in cupping he also guides his students through hands on applications that stimulate the mind, body and spirit.  
O

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Thoughts on Zen, Holding Space and BDSM

As a Dominant I rely on Zen principles and philosophies in my life and in the lives of the subs who serve me. All of these principles, I believe are within the human scope, but life has taught us to:Take without gratitudeAct in our own self-interestOpe…

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Can a sub ask or request to be collared?

Q: Can a sub asoor request to be collared?A: Yes they can but the decision to issue a collar is solely on the Dominant. In my opinion, the whole collaring process is in line with the marriage process. Dating / vetting: This is the time during whic…

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